Are you as sad as Newt is about the curtains coming down on his campaign? If so, let us know what you think Newt’s next act should be. We like him for Zoo Czar or Moon Ambassador. Or, Dancing With the Stars, anyone?
He’s thinner, he’s better looking, he’s younger. But you asked me if I had anyone who could play me in a movie … why not go for Brad Pitt?
I never heard of Libya. I didn’t know whether that CNN dude’s name was Wolf or Blitz. And my only training for running the #1 nation in the world was running its #8 pizza chain. Yet none of that, I repeat, none of that disqualified me. In fact, I was the front-fucking-runner, as long as I kept my 9-9-9 in my pants. (I have no idea what I meant by that—I just like saying 9-9-9.)
Newt’s surge is causing some religious-right Republicans to to redefine their family values. Michelle Goldberg looks into how they’re learning to love the adulterous, thrice-married former speaker.
“I see a lot of parallels between King David and Newt Gingrich, two extraordinary men gifted by God, whose lives include very high highs and very low lows,” Deace says. David, after all, committed adultery with the ravishing Bathsheba, then had her husband killed, among other transgressions. The Bible makes room for complicated, morally compromised heroes.
This is a football season. You don’t just kick off the ball and win. Someone’s going to come hit you. We got hit. Get up.